#dolores umbridge headers | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fishdavidson · 5 years ago

Photo

Dream Journal 20199-06-02: Dealing With Some Weird Convention In A Hotel (And Also An Explanation Regarding My Absence)

Some of you have probably noticed that I have not updated my dream journal for about a month. Part of it I can squarely blame on depression/anxiety, and another significant portion I can conveniently blame on my various medications making my dreams harder to recall. There was also a weird and sudden bout of insomnia that happened, which didn’t make anything better.

But there are two other reasons that I haven’t been updating as regularly:

I’m running my first homebrew Dungeons and Dragons campaign as GM, and it required a LOT of prep work in the beginning. Because I try to keep non-dream stuff off my main blog, that’s why there haven’t been any posts about my massive love of D&D and my ever-so-understanding players.

These posts take a lot of time to write. Maybe I’m just a slow writer, but the average post takes 1-2 hours to write and that doesn’t include all the weird and random searches I have to do to find a suitable header image. Actual work was running later than usual, and on the days when I actually had a dream, I was opting not to write about it so I could allocate that time toward my other creative projects. An unfortunate reality of being a human with limited time means that I can’t give all my projects the love they need.

But don’t let that last point lull you into thinking that I’m permanently abandoning this blog! I fully intend to keep it going to the best of my ability, but I’m trying to not beat myself up if I miss a few days here and there (because that’s how the anxiety monster wins). Anyway, enough groveling! TIME FOR DREAMS!

The Main Dream: The Convention

We begin in an alternate reality where international pop sensation, the Spice Girls, never broke up. Only they pivoted their musical style toward industrial dance and any attempts at subtlety in the innuendo department had been removed from the lyrics.

The manager of the Spice Girls in this reality was a heinous Dolores Umbridge character who wore a lot of purple and was really interested in insurance fraud. Seriously. The manager hired me as a dance instructor and physical trainer, both of which I am horrendously unqualified for in dreams and in reality, in order to sue me for contractual misrepresentation and receive a convenient settlement from the insurance company.

Yes, that is an actual thing that almost happened in this dream. I say “almost” because although I did indeed get hired, I caught on to her scheme pretty quick and informed her with a great assortment of swear words that I was resigning and knew what she was doing. If she did not allow my resignation and/or attempted to proceed with involving me in her plan anyway, I announced my intention to counter-sue her. Hooray for subconscious threats of litigation!

My threats (or maybe it was the attempted headlock?) got me out of my duties with the Spice Girls, but I was stuck at a fancy hotel in New Orleans until the next long-distance charter bus arrived. According to the schedule, I had an entire weekend to kill.

There was a convention going on at the hotel for high-achieving students who came from private religious schools. Naturally, I attempted to assimilate into their group because they had lots of pre-planned activities and free food.

Despite not arriving on the tour bus with the other students, it was trivial to convince them that I was definitely a decade or two younger than my real age and currently enrolled in a private religious school. You just tell the person in charge “I am a student,” and they’re like “This guy’s legit, come on in!”

It was a perfect plan!

The chaperones give me a key to the room I’m staying in with several other people. My luggage has already been brought up to the room, and I take a moment to inventory my worldly possessions because it’s always a hoot to find out what my brain thinks important luggage should be.

For this trip, I brought along:

A cell phone

Several extension cords

A bright red, extra-large gym fan

Dress slacks with a small hole in the crotch

An ornate bird cage

My angry calico cat

Supplies for my angry cat

Five pairs of socks (but zero underpants)

Pills for alleviating flatulence

Looks like I came to party!

And there was a party scheduled later that evening at a bar downtown within walking distance. We were going to be caterers/waitstaff for the event, but we would get free drinks and a small stipend for our efforts. I put on the slacks to get ready for the event, since they were the most formal thing I’d brought to wear.

But then the angry cat escaped our room and I had to chase her down the hallway before she could reach the Forbidden Outside Lands. A nearby door started blaring “When That Helicopter Comes” by The Handsome Family when I apprehended the cat. This is a real song that exists in the waking world, and it happened to be the alarm song for my wife this morning.

“WHAT SONG IS THAT?” the religious students scream as they clutched at their brains. I am unfazed. I start singing along. I am forcibly removed from the hotel california (and also the dream)

------------------------

Header image is of the Millennium Biltmore Los Angeles

#dream journal #dreams #fishdavidson #hotel #spice girls #handsome family #helicopter #cat #new orleans #nola #convention #hof

9 notes · View notes

the-dewofthesea · 7 years ago

Text

as I finally finished my master thesis, but still haven’t fixed my computer, so I decided to do a long list of harry potter themed questions combined from all those I could find around tumblr. click below to continue the journey into the magical world. be prepared it’s a lot of questions.

- Hogwarts, Ilvermorny, Beauxbatons, or Durmstrang? Hogwarts, even though through the weird rules of the Harry Potter world I should go to Beauxbatons, but I have nothing with those fancy french things. I really think there should be a school for other countires as well, I know there are some, but what about one for 'german' countries, like on a Alpine mountain top somewhere?

- Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw

- Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade? Diagon Alley, eventhough I would like something similar to Hogsmeade, a snowy cosy small village, but Hogsmeade itself gives me the creeps.

- Favorite shop? Dogweed & Deathcap, Flourish & Blotts, and Scribbulus.

- Your wand? Pine with Maple handle, 12¾", Phoenix feather core, quite flexible (bought at Gregorovitch Zauberstäbe)

Pine: The straight-grained pine wand always chooses an independent, individual master who may be perceived as a loner, intriguing and perhaps mysterious. Pine wands enjoy being used creatively, and unlike some others, will adapt unprotestingly to new methods and spells. / Maple: I have often found that those chosen by maple wands are by nature travelers and explorers; they are not stay-at-home wands, and prefer ambition in their witch or wizard, otherwise their magic grows heavy and lackluster. / Phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic. / I have a wand which is 31cm at home, and it always feels a bit on the small side to me so I this is a bit bigger.

- Your blood status? half-blood, kind of what I’m already anyways. (you are not enough dutch, you are not enough german. oh well, whatever family)

- Owl, cat, or toad? White Ragdoll Cat. How much I would like to have a bird and owls are very practical in the magical world, I really want a cat as I have never owned one by myself before and this is my dream cat.

- Favourite Hogwarts subject? I literally can’t choose, I mean I’m a Ravenclaw after all. Probably on top of the list will be: Herbology, Charms, Potions, Transfiguration and Astronomy.

- Least favourite Hogwarts subject? Probably ancient runes, even though I find runes intriguing it seems just as boring as learning old Greek.

- Which Hogwarts subject would you be best at? if compared to real high school: arithmancy, but I to be honest either Herbology or Potions.

- What kind of student would you be? so again, I’m comparing this to my real school history. I would be very eager to learn all the subjects I actually like, might be very opposed to mandatory things that suck and get side tracked in the library every day by discovering another great book that hasn’t have anything to do with what I should actually be doing.

- How would your grades be? Outstanding, on anything I was passioned about. Exceeds Expectations, on anything else. and maybe an Acceptable for you know that one class or professor that just doesn’t work out. Done that, been there.

- Any extra-curricular subjects? I would love Ancient Studies, and anything to do with Arts or Music. I mean I study fine arts, so yeah.

- Favourite professor? From those we know the most: Minerva McGonagall. Otherwise maybe either Aurora Sinistra or Septima Vector. But to be honest we all know the most relaxed teacher was Remus Lupin.

- Favourite DADA teacher? Remus Lupin obviously.

- Your go to spell? Lumos, I sleep with the light on so this is an obvious one.

- Which spell do you think would be most useful to learn? I’m gonna be a nerd on this one and say; expelliarmus. cause if you do it right you may actually win a duel without doing anything else.

- Potions expert or charms expert? Potions, I rather put a lot of effort into being able to brew the perfect potion than dueling people.

- Patronus? a Jay bird, like the header of the post I made.

- Animagus? I would prefer it to be a cat, but as it mostly is similar to the patronus I guess I might end up being a bird. but who knows, being a libra might mean that I could be both when I’m in balance with both parts of my soul. Also the patronus is said to be able to change, as it might start to resemble your true love, and your animagus can’t be changed.

- What does amortentia smell like to you? Fresh fallen rain in a pine forest, liquid vanilla the moment it is poured into cake batter and probably something you don't realise what it is but turns out to be your soulmate.

- What would you see in the Mirror of Erised? Being free of all social and worldly problems, living in a small cabin near the woods.

- What would be your Boggart? A cloaked figure with a knife. #traumas

- Quidditch position or spectator? Spectator, me and sports are a no go.

- Your quidditch team? I'm shocked there isn't a Swiss team, so than I'll choose the Bigonville Bombers, the team of Luxembourg as one of my best friends is from Luxembourg.

- Would you be a prefect? I certainly might make a change on becoming one, I was always the leader in group projects or duo tasks, cause I wanted to have control and if I didn’t I hated the others for being such lazy and dumb people... sorry to anyone I might have offended with this in the past, you know teenagers, high school. it’s just hell.

- Dream Yule Ball date? a Scottish guy with red hair that is not closely related to the Weasleys.

- Gobstones or Wizard Chess? Chess, but first I have to learn it.

- Crookshanks or Pigwidgeon? Pig! as Crookshanks just always has this look that is a combination of Grumpy Cat and I wanna kill you.

- If you could own one of the three Hallows, which would it be? Invisibility cloak, I mean hello.

- What is your favourite magical creature? a Phoenix. its mythology is amazing, but my mother also used to work for a company for over 40 years that had it as their logo. and I just love Fawkes in the movie.

- Would you join the Triwizard Tournament? no, even if in the normal version you won’t die, I don’t need this type of danger during education, a magic school has enough hazards.

- Do you prefer Christmas or Halloween at Hogwarts? I guess Christmas cause you are allowed to go back to visit your family during the break, though if you’re like Harry that sucks. Halloween is actually my favourite, but it is right after school starts and I guess it might also be the april fools day of hogwarts cause you could scare people.

- Would you own a house elf? No, not even if my parents or grandparents would have one and the would die and I need to take it or something. S.P.E.W. anyone?

- Favourite book? Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, memories and the dreams of getting an acceptance letter.

- Favourite movie? Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix. because Sirius, 12 grimmauld place, dumbledore's army, room of requirement. Dolores Umbridge is a bitch though, but it makes great scenes.

- Favourite quote? "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

- Favourite of the Golden Trio? Hermione for sure.

- Fauvorite Marauder? I have to go with Sirius, even after everything that happened to him he is such a warm person, I really wished he would have been able to raise Harry.

- Fantastic Beasts or The Cursed Child? Fantastic Beasts, cause it is super awesome and the cursed child has to many things that do not make sense.

- Character you most identify with? Hermione, even though I like Luna the most, I really am the same as hermione and my friends used to joke a lot about it...

- Which character do you think you’d instantly become friends with? Luna. I am also a weird person, so I wouldn’t think she is crazy like most other students did.

- Which family do you want to spend the holidays with? uhm, what about not. holidays are for peace you know, just me and my love going on an adventure.

- If it was real what do you think you’ll be doing right now, in this moment? so lets see, I’m 25 years old and it is monday afternoon. the sun is just about to set, so maybe I’ll be out exploring something, watching the sun go down just before I set up the tent I brought or go back home. In a less romantic version, I would use magic to make dinner faster so I could eat healthier things without spending like hours in the kitchen. (due to my allergies I have to basically make anything from scratch, everything, even bread.)

- OTP? Rona (Luna + Rolf Scamander) even though we don't really know that much about Rolf I have the feeling they are an awesome couple. Better than Luna and Neville.

- NOTP? Dramione (Draco + Hermione) still can't see this one happening, sorry.

- Top five ships? Newton + Porpentina, Ginmione (Hermione + Ginny), Grindeldore (Dumbledore + Grindelwald), Fleur + Bill, Hansy (Harry + Pansy)

- How did you start your journey with HP? I was actually to young to read it when the first books came out, also I can’t remember it being popular to read them maybe they hadn’t been translated yet or something. My first contact with Harry Potter was seeing the first film in the cinema during a birthday party of my cousin. Because I was the youngest I had to go with the old people and watch it dubbed into Dutch, I hated it, I hate movies that are revoiced, but than again I also hate subtitles now cause I do not need them at all and they just obstruct my view... welcome in Switzerland where you can enjoy having multiple lines of subtitles on your movie on top of each other.

#blog #text #harry potter #questions #bored

6 notes · View notes